Does this sound familiar? A man comes home to his wife and hands her a gift with a grin on his face. She looks in disgust at the gift, throws him a piercing glance, and says "What is this? How much did it cost? You know we can't afford to waste money!"
Sad isn't it? This is a love language problem. He expresses affection through gifts and she very obviously doesn't. If that didn't sound familiar, what about these phrases:
A: You never spend any time with me!
B: I work hard to provide for you and the family, but all you do is complain!
A: Will you cuddle with me?
B: Why do you always have to be so clingy?
A: I made your favorite dinner tonight!
B: That's great, now let me finish this last e-mail.
After reading this book, I can identify the arguments and strife caused in relationships because of love language problems. It's amazing how just understanding someone's need for the right kind of attention can make a difference between happiness and divorce.
I highly recommend this books for anyone who is involved in a romantic relationship, but it is also useful in other cases:
- My brother is a "Physical Touch" person. This means that he needs to hug me when we first see each other after a long parting. Now that I know this, I can let him do it without feeling uncomfortable or making him feel uncomfortable. It's really improved a situation that used to be very awkward for us.
- My mother-in-law had a problem with a co-worker who would always buy her small trinkets (kind of like how a cat brings dead animals to your doorstep when they like you). She didn't know how to handle it so I told her about the book. I explained what it meanst to be a "Gifts" person and some tips for handling it.