16 Days of Christmas – NSA edition
In preparation for my book, Are You Listening? Lessons in Waste, Abuse, and Mismanagement from the Agency That Doesn't Listen, I thought I'd share some festive ornaments available to NSA employees. Here we go!
2005
I earned my Master’s degree on a swank program called the “Scholarship for Service”. It was a great deal: they paid for school, housing, a small living allowance and so on – all you had to do was complete a CS Degree (with a focus on national security) and then go work for the federal government for a few years to put that education to use.
My program director summed it up as ~”the NSA’s attempt to grow talent and bring in new ideas”, which, honestly, seemed pretty smart. While I had reservations working for a spy agency, as long as they were open to new ideas and perspectives, maybe I didn’t have that much to worry about.
Sadly, I discovered that new ideas and enthusiasm are about as welcome in the NSA as a 2am bedside hairball.
2008
Not only was the ornament this year top notch, I was working the best-fit job of my career where I trained thousands of government employees and contractors in Operations Security (OPSEC) principles on behalf of the DoD. I provided both platform training and briefings to agencies such as the FBI, DHS, State Department, and many military installations across the US. Some of the highlights:
- After Speaking at the State Department Foreign Services Institute (FSI), I was personally requested by the Deputy Director of the FSI to deliver a follow-on briefing to her technology working group as well.
- I received a letter of appreciation from the office of the Department of the Navy, Chief Information Officer.
- I led inter-office development effort to rebuild and redesign the IOSS.gov official website with a cost savings of over $300,000 per year versus the replaced contract (so basically, I saved the NSA millions of dollars over the next several years).
2011
After seven years of living in Maryland, my wife and I wanted out. Yakima Washington was less crowded, less expensive, and only a few hours away from the grandparents by car. I would be giving up the best job I ever had at the agency , but moving close to family on the government dime was a no-brainer. The only thing standing in the way was the poly.
Things were going well at first, but one of the security questions continued to be a sticking point. My examiner asked about it and, in the spirit of cooperation and disclosure, I waxed eloquent about my strong belief in whistle-blowing.
It was a huge mistake.
The exam, which should have lasted less than 30 minutes, extended for five hours. They must not have found what they were digging for because they eventually kicked me out and said “we’ll get back to you”.
Weeks turned to months as, with every passing day, financial and logistical issues mounted. Our lease expired, my car died, the new school year approached, and my office wouldn’t assign me any work since “they didn’t know when I was leaving”. My wife and I scrambled to deal with the consequences of sitting in PCS (location transfer) limbo while suffering from constant fear that the Yakima office might get tired of waiting and rescinded the offer.
The whole time, I battled fear and depression until they finally scheduled the second poly (which I passed in 20 minutes) and a follow-on security interview. It was then that I finally learned they had needed time to investigate me fully because I “admitted” in the polygraph that I support whistleblowing.
 |  | I'm almost certain there were two ornaments in 2012 - one anniversary one and one normal Christmassy one - but I haven't been able to find it and I can't find a picture of one online to compare to. But if I'm right, I lost one somewhere and that's sad 🙁 |
2015
The timing worked out to snag a job overseas (OCONUS); a place I wanted to go so badly I told everyone I'd clean toilets if that's what it took. Thankfully the work wasn't much like cleaning toilets, but I still landed in a more fecal position than I bargained for.
OCONUS is where I suffered the most soul-destroying management of my career. To cope, I learned to speedwalk through the halls, keep my head down, avoid eye contact, and memorize noisy floor tiles so I could get to my cubicle silently and unnoticed. I tried not to talk or send emails that might draw attention, adjusted my work schedule, and timed my bathroom breaks to limit my exposure to abusers. After work, if I noticed certain cars at the commissary or post office, I'd do a U-turn and try again another day. My morning drives were spent decompressing over the previous day's trauma and trying to steel myself for the next.
One thing's for sure, working for bullies and abusers made my OCONUS assignment a lot less appealing.
2019
Back to a good assignment. I was the team lead and lead UX designer for web-dev shop building/maintaining custom applications used to streamline and simplify operations for thousands of employees world-wide. Not only that, but I was selected for a summer leadership program called the Defense Civilian Emerging Leaders Program (DCELP). I spent an entire summer flying back and forth to Michigan to complete the 5-week course. It was a great experience where I met some amazing people from all over the DoD – including some other NSA people.
When I first flew to the Defense Civilian Emerging Leaders Program leadership program and we were doing classroom introductions, someone audibly gasped upon hearing my name and reverently said, “You’re THE Jeremy Duffy!? I can’t wait to tell the people back in the office that I met you”. You see, I'd become somewhat infamous by that time due to years of speaking out against bad policy, abuse, waste, and calling out execs up to (and beyond) the NSA director.
2020
Covid time. By this time, I had been elected as a "Workforce Matters Representative", got a promotion, and was otherwise distinguishing myself not just as an employee, but as an advocate for employees. I admit; my approach was overly combative and put people on the defensive for a long time, but I was really starting to turn it around. I was mentoring the site chief and deputy chief trying to teach them how to better engage with people on site and had even at one point been recognized as one of the NSA’s five top employee advocates by the agency Anti-Harassment Campaign.
By 2021, I was on my way out, but had been working on a goodbye post highlighting some of the key issues I felt were still unaddressed. I guess I wasn't as good at communicating as I thought because, despite my efforts, I still pissed off someone(s). The post triggered a new "investigation", a psyche eval, and then a clearance revocation listing my book as a "threat", admitting that I'd been retaliated against for supporting whistleblowing, and full of exaggerations and lies (stuff I was only able to prove because I'd requested copies of my own security records years prior).
 | | I didn't get a 2021 ornament because I left in the summer. Cest la vie! |
And that's the career! Would I do it again? Maybe if I could take some of my current perspective back with me. But one thing's for sure, all those people who warned me not to rock the boat were right in the end. I had a good run, sure, but eventually they falsified security records and left me jobless in the worst job market in decades. It was not fun… although – the only reason I was hesitating to publish the book was because of my clearance. Now that it's gone (ironically) the NSA has removed the only thing that was keeping their ugly side from becoming public.
Tags: Christmas, Christmas Ornaments, NSA Christmas Ornaments