The Best Super-Power Ever
There have been a rash of really good superhero movies recently with the most current being the much-touted Iron Man (which I've yet to see so don't spoil it!) and Batman Begins (not only the best Batman movie ever, but one of the best movies ever made in my opinion).
Haven't you ever asked yourself, 'How cool would it be to have a superpower?Well today, I give you that answer.
I thought long and hard about what powers would be most useful and powerful and there's many to choose from (Telekinesis, Mind-Reading, Shapeshifting, Illusion, and on and on). The problem is that each has a weakness or a situation that renders it useless.
Illusions don't work on machines and won't help you stop a bullet or save your darling as she plummets to her death from a tall building. So maybe go to Telekinesis to save your falling damsel, stop the bullet, and toss those robotic enforcers across the horizon, but then what about that secret poison needle that your "darling" is planning to betray you with? Mind-reading will come in very handy here, but is no good for attack dogs, Mexican wrestlers, or being pushed out of an Airplane. You see how this can go on for a while…
One superpower to rule them all...Anyway, after long and hard deliberation, I've come up with a power that would fit nearly every need and be useful for everything from falling pianos to sticking your foot in your mouth. Undo.
That's right, undo. Imagine:
You spend four hours haggling on the price of a car and take it just a little too far. Undo the last thing you said and try again.
The red and blue lights flash behind you, undo, slow down, pass the speed trap, speed back up to 92 miles per hour.
Three words: Stocks, Racetrack, Vegas
Your wife gave you specific instructions to keep the dog in while she was gone, but during the game, someone comes to your door to tell you they just ran over a dog and they think it's yours. Undo, pause the game, get the dog, resume the game.
A guy breaks into your house which you find out only after they're standing over your bed with a gun telling you to "get up mutha*****!!". Undo, meet them at the door with a shotgun.
You just stepped off a curb and the blare of a horn announces your imminent grisly demise at the hands of a truck's grill. Undo, stay at the curb and let the truck pass.
And it doesn't have to be just once. If you turn down a street and get mugged only to undo and try a different street and get mugged again, go back a little earlier to when you left the hotel and take a cab instead.
If there's a limit to how far you can go, it's based mostly on how much of your life you want to relive. Maybe you just want to try the whole day over again. Maybe you made a horrible mistake a week ago, but didn't realize it until just now. Maybe you developed cancer months ago and if they had known then, you'd have survived. UNDO!
The Super-hero Gig
Maybe you can't stop a bank robbery, but you'd be able to call the SWAT team in at just the right time. Maybe you can't stop a meteor from coming down on your house, but you can back up a week and say, "Let's move! RIGHT NOW". You can't stop the violence in Iraq, but you could certainly help as an informant and keep yourself from getting killed if you went there.
Sure you don't get the glory of being in tights and impressing the all the chicks, but you'll never have to worry about missing a deadline, saying the wrong thing, being in the wrong place, or betting on the wrong horse.
The only two questions left are, what do you call yourself and is there any type of super-villain that could defeat you?
Tags: Superheroes