Does this sound familiar? Married person X comes home to Spouse X and hands them a gift with a grin. Spouse X looks in disgust at the gift, and says "What is this? How much did it cost? You know we can't afford to waste money!" Sad isn't it? This is a love language problem where one expresses affection through gifts and the other very obviously doesn't.
If that didn't sound familiar, what about these phrases:
A: You never spend any time with me!
B: I work hard to provide for you and the family, but all you do is complain!
A: Will you cuddle with me?
B: Why do you always have to be so clingy?
A: I made your favorite dinner tonight!
B: That's great, now let me finish this last e-mail.
Reading this book was quite literally life-changing for me. It's one of those things that divides your life into before and after:
- Before, I didn't know my brother is a "Physical Touch" person and needs to hug me when we first see each other after a long parting. Now that I know this, I can let him do it without feeling uncomfortable or making him feel uncomfortable. It's really improved a situation that used to be very awkward for us.
- My mother-in-law had a problem with a co-worker who would always buy her small trinkets (kind of like how a cat brings dead animals to your doorstep when they like you). She didn't know how to handle it so I told her about the book. I explained what it meant to be a "Gifts" person and some tips for handling it and the awkward situation cleared up.
- Now, when someone is trying to express love or affection (romantic or not), I can more easily recognize it and react/reciprocate appropriately.
The key is that without this knowledge, you may feel you've done everything in the world to make someone feel special and appreciated, but they don't because you're just speaking the wrong language! To learn more, click the book's pic above.