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Today, I Solve The Airline Industry

American Airlines
(Image used under: Creative Commons 2.0 [SRC])

It seems that the Airlines haven't managed to hire enough problem-solvers to handle the various issues they face on a daily basis. They suffer from slow boarding, irritable customers and employees, and, of course, reduced profits due to the above. Since I have about 20 minutes of time available, I thought I'd lend a hand and solve all their problems:

Boarding

So far, only Southwest does a good job keeping people orderly and calm during boarding. This is because they not only have enough space for all the passengers AND their carry-on items (unlike American Airlines), but they use a simple A-B-C and 1-60 lineup system. People calmly line up according to their letter/number combination so there's no rushing the gate or tension while others get in line before they're supposed to.

Southwest's one error is having unassigned seating. Because of that the plane fills up from front-to back in the window and aisle seats first which makes it harder for people traveling as a group and takes a lot of time as people shuffle around to let the middle-seat folks in.

Solving it

All airlines should adopt the letter/number system that Southwest uses, but each ticket should be assigned seating. Further, all planes should board from the BACK to the front. If the first-class people want to deal with all the bumping and jealous stares, I guess we can let them go first, but otherwise back to front because duh.

The only reason I can imagine why we don't do it this way now is because the people who get on first get priority for the overhead space and they can sell early access for more. The answer of course is to stop being such greedy pricks and just make sure you have no more seats than your overhead space can accommodate. Firstly because it's customary and completely reasonable to expect each person to bring one bag and a "personal item" with them and you should have enough room for it all without theatrics (right, American?).

If you're not playing stupid games with your customers and your gate and plane staff put in a minimum effort to make sure people have the proscribed number/size of baggage and only use the bin space above their assigned seats (you know, actually manage the boarding process), then boarding back to front would be much faster, far lower stress, and translate to profits due to efficiency every time.

Bonus: if people's bags are only in the space above their seat, they won't be wandering the plane during the flight or after (when everyone's trying to get off) trying to get the bag that's nowhere near them

Sales Pitches

One of the things that annoys me most about theaters is that I already paid a ticket, I participated in their back-ally mugging for snacks, and I even sit and watch commercials for movies that are coming out soon in order to watch the film I paid to see. On top of that, they have the nerve to play annoying and distracting ads before the movie AND after the movie start time before the other movie previews. And then they wonder why I might go to a theater once a year or less…

Likewise, you have airlines that are haven't been able to make enough money by cheapening snack and meal service; now they have to hassle you on the plane with loud ads or flight attendant sales pitches for your "club" or BS credit card, or whatever. I'm surprised they haven't already figured out that a 4-hour flight of captives is a great time to pitch high-pressure timeshares.

Solving it

The answer to that is simple: STOP. Leave us alone. You want to pitch us for your blather? Do it on the ticketing website or in the ads on our tickets (which they already do too by the way). Outside of that, your window of acceptability has long since ended. Once we reach the airport, your job is to get us to our destination safely and professionally; not beg or steal for your scam deals while we're trying to deal with the stress of flying.

Rude and Angry

I have dealt with a variety of stressed, angry, and rude airport employees, but I don't fault them. I know that poor customer services is always a reflection of the hiring services and company policies and not the individual. Especially when you see it over and over or compare it to the companies whose employees are generally helpful, happy, and friendly (Southwest).

Employees in this mindset are likely to make mistakes that can be costly or embarrassing (like the poor doctor who was injured during a forced removal from a United flight). Trying to lead by spreadsheet is failure seeds that will eventually blossom into disaster.

Solving it

Run your company in collaboration with your workforce – listen to the problems they raise and do what you can to fix it. They want the company to run efficiently, so let them help you do it! That, and make sure you pay fairly and provide good benefits. In an industry where small mistakes are magnified immensely in terms of consequences, making sure that people are treated well.

In closing

There's probably more I could think of if I put some effort into it, but these problems aren't that complicated nor hard to solve. It will mean cutting profit margins somewhat in the short term, but the efficiency and loyalty you create will be far more profitable in the end. If you can't manage it, here is my simple trick for responsibly moving forward: shut the doors and go home. If you can't run a business fairly and well, don't. Tags: ,

Classmates.com Settles Over Deceptive Advertising Lawsuit

I doubt this surprises anyone:

Classmates.com was sued because it allegedly sent out e-mails to anyone registered for its free service, suggesting that their fellow graduates were looking to contact them—they could find out who that person was if they'd simply upgrade to one of the subscription tiers. At least two individuals did so and quickly discovered that the mystery classmate didn't exist—nobody they knew had been looking.

Still, this is good news because companies shouldn't be allowed to lie outright the way Classmates has.

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The Truth About Piracy

Just because I don't download movies doesn't mean I don't think about it pretty much for this reason:

If they made a DVD player with a giant red "play the freaking movie right freaking now" button, I'd buy it. Wouldn't you?

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Every Bank Abuses You With Credit

One hundred percent of credit cards offered online by the leading bank card issuers continue to include practices that will be outlawed once legislation passed in May takes effect next year.

What this hardly surprising bit of news is saying is that every single bank, because they've been allowed to thus far, uses abusive and deceptive credit practices. It just boggles my mind when people say the market can "regulate itself". I wonder why several hundred years of abuses isn't enough evidence of just how wrong that is.

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Disgruntled Employee (Whistleblower) Slams Gamestop’s Rapacious Business Practices

(Image used under: Creative Commons 2.0 [SRC])
A disgruntled former employee of GameStop calling himself "WhistleBlowerZero" has created a 9-part YouTube video series which explains quickly, but in exhaustive detail, the many reasons why you, Dear Consumer, should not shop at GameStop.

That pretty much sums it up. I listened to a few of them and the best part is that it's both amusing and packed with real world information and math that explains exactly why Gamestop is a huge rip-off.

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One-sided Agreements Don’t Always Survive in Court

(Image is in the Public Domain)

I really hate the kinds of things companies pull in their contracts and terms of service. Even more I hate when people say, "you signed it so quit complaining!" What they don't seem to understand is that even if the information is there, that doesn't mean that people can understand it or its implications. Thus was the case in a Washington supreme court ruling that mightily smacked and slapped around the one-sided AT&T service agreement.

The court had the option of determining that some portions of the contract were legally valid and could be enforced. Instead, the ruling determined that unconscionable conditions pervaded the agreement, rendering it invalid in its entirety
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Citibank Guilty of Theft Against its Customers

Banks aren't supposed to steal from customers
(Image used under: Creative Commons 2.0 [SRC])

California, a historically consumer-friendly state, has recently won a settlement against Citibank for over 14 million dollars in theft from its customers. They apparently used a computer program to "sweep" up positive balances due to double paid bills or merchandise returns from customers' accounts into the Citibank's general fund.

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Internet Service Providers Storing Information About Your Web Searches

They dropped their "don't be evil" motto for a reason
(Image used under: Creative Commons 2.0 [SRC])

Google has been inappropriately storing your search records for a long time now, but it looks like they're far from being the only one.

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Malls Tracking Customer Movements Via Cellphones

(Image is in the Public Domain)

Lovely.

Customers in shopping centres are having their every move tracked by a new type of surveillance that listens in on the whisperings of their mobile phones.

The main point here is that business are highly interested in knowing everything they possibly can about you. The more then know, the more they can manipulate. Just wait until everything we're carrying has an RFID chip in it. That will make their jobs so much easier.

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New Games Require Internet Connection or You Can’t Play (PBBBBBLLTT!)

It's a trap!
(Image used under: Creative Commons 2.0 [SRC])

Some new game manufacturers are requiring that the game system you play with have an Internet connection so the game can authenticate itself every few days. Most people are pretty adverse to being treated like criminals just to play a game much like they'd resent a screeching corporate harpy who strikes their hands with a ruler every time they do something that the company deems "unworthy".

Well since the company can't afford to train and assign a corporate harpy to each and every player, they instead put restrictive software that calls home and says, "yup, this guy's still ok". Should the software not be able to call home, like a spy under strict orders to lie low, the game will refuse to operate until given an Internet connection by which to phone home to command.

The funny thing about this is that most of their market will happily and quickly buy their games, but when they put in the screws, those same customers will refuse. However, being avid gamers and fans, when presented with the ability and opportunity to download a cracked copy, they are much more likely to do so since they will still want to play the game.

A not-so-suprising reaction from the gaming community: Penny Arcade Comic
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