Confessions of a Geek Squad Technician

Wednesday, March 13th, 2019 (No comments yet)

This is an amazing essay from a former Geek Squad tech as to why Geek Squad was great, but isn't anymore.

The fact is that you are no more likely to see a real technician at a Geek Squad today than you would be to see a real 5'10" mouse, wearing red suspenders at Disneyland. It is all an act... a show to provide what the customer assumes they need to see. The shoes, the ties, the badges, the pants, the socks, and the shirts do not increase the persons ability to fix your computer, they merely fulfill the customer's subconscious expectation of what a competent computer technician looks like.

He talks of the time he opened a "new" computer only to find that it was in reality, used. His manager told him to clean it off and give it to the customers like nothing had happened of which he said "On this day, I would favor the respect of my superior, rather than that of my integrity".

Wow.

Then there's the time that they were backlogged on computers to repair so management decided that things like crashes and viruses could be fixed easily by wiping all data on every computer. They don't have to worry about legal ramifications because customers are forced to sign a disclaimer that says they've backed up all their data.

And don't forget that Geeks are lonely. If you have (or had) any porn on your machine, they'll find it and save a copy:

If there were a competition between a Playboy editor, a photo lab technician, and a voyeur for the person who has seen the most random pictures of naked people... the only way any of them would win is if the Geek Squad agent was late to the contest.